HewmJames





BUNNY LEPOWSKI
Player Profile:
Sk8 number: 3-2-1 Contact
Interests: nihilism, pedicures & ATM machines
Dislikes:
being broke
Positions: Jammer and Blocker, otherwise craps tables
Before derby: "I used to hang with some unsavory characters who were interested in pacifism. Now I hang with unsavory characters who beat each other up while wearing skates, it’s way more my steeze!"
Favorite derby move: sternum busters & juking fools
Favorite color: money
Drink: I happen to enjoy the occasional “Caucasian”. It’s sort of mandatory
Position: Jammer and Blocker, sideways at a craps table

 

BUSTHER SPINES
Player Profile:
Favorite drink: beer, gin & tonic, margaritas and the Irish Car Bomb - all depends on weather & mood.
Interests: The Three S's: skating, soccer and snowboarding. Oh, and SEX.
Before derby: Kept knocking people down on the soccer field. and the office. and the bar. and on the dance floor. Decided to switch sports.
Got into derby when: She realized she needed a more aggressive sport that fit her interests (see above).
Favorite part of derby: Knocking girls off their skates/wearing panties
Position: Rogue 4 and Pivot

 

CANDY WARHOLE
For a good time, let 'er loose in the back of the pack and watch the mayhem ensue.
Player Profile:
Favorite drink: Bloody mary. Extra bloody.
Interests: Mincing around in front of a wee mirror.
Before derby: Painted pictures of her enemies - prostrate, heaped on the floor and covered in blood. She realized there was a more constructive outlet for her disdain.
Got into derby when: Originally a hockey player from Toronto, Candy found Portland and the High Rollers simultaneously. They desperately needed her at the time to free them from formalism. She can't leave now...isn't it great?
Position: Stalker. Wait, Blocker.

 

DEE CAP-A-SKATER
Player Profile:
Favorite drink: Caucasian
Interests: Durking
Before derby: was a top super model until the...accident.
Got into derby because: "It was either quantum physics or roller derby, so...duh."
Favorite part of derby: Knocking the piss outta bitches.
Position: "Pivot, last line of DEE-fense! (Or you can go right ahead and make something up...I dont give fuck!)"

 

HEIDI-GO-SEEK
"I don’t much care for the quickly increasing number of points for Levels 4 and 4E of this game when I play. Unlimited Power and the like are okay but make for less challenging strategy. But the Walking Wounded, Bloody Penalty, Gritty Death, Death Carryover and Munchies are well worth some consideration. If I find myself running or playing in a 4E game anytime soon I’ll definitely try some of my new weapons.".
Player profile coming soon!

 

HONEY HELLFIRE
Player profile:
Favorite drink: Mead!
Interests: Books, getting it on, and bubble baths.
Before derby: Lived in a hot springs commune, but the lure of derby called her to the city.
Got into derby when: She made a bunch a money working for narcotics dealers, bought some skates, and practiced so much her ass began to shrink.
Favorite position: Jammer - being sneaky and hitting those bitches DOWN.

 

HURRICANE SKATRINA
Player profile:
Favorite drink: dirty martini, emphasis on dirty.
Interests: puppies, natural disasters, destruction, unleashing hell and high water on opponents, and total world domination.
Before derby: "Life was meaningless before derby...I was a mere tropical storm, but thanks to derby I'm a category 5 hurricane of whoop-ass."
Got into derby when: Skatrina started in the Bay Area, then moved up the coast, leaving a path of massive destruction and crying derby girls in her wake.
Favorite part of derby: "Honestly, what's not to like? One of the faves is hearing the roar of the crowd when you level someone the other team. Makes the eye of my storm all warm and fuzzy."

 

INTENSIVE SCARE
Player profile:
Favorite drink: whiskey
Before derby: drank, smoked, hung out in sleazy bars occasionally sobering up for work as a nurse.
Got into derby because: She thought it looked even more fun than a mosh pit.
Interests: derby, drinking.
Special derby style: Sorry, no style or class here.

 

JK ROLLING
Player profile:
Favorite drink: Pumpkin juice, melted butter, beer and Ogden's Old Firewhiskey.
Life goal: to bring an end to the evil referee-ing force of Lord Rolldemort
Hangout: Between platforms 9 and 10 in Manchester
Before derby: was in prison but wrongfully accused! wrongfully accused!
Got into derby when: A friend brought her to a practice. She was hooked on the violence so often not taught at schools.
Fact: JK Rolling is kind to all animals not on the other bloody team.

 

LAYLA SMACKDOWN
CO-CAPTAIN
Player Profile:
Favorite drink: The classiest of Long Island blends: Jager Bombs
Interests: bridges and tunnels, Canadians, fried foods, glitter.
Before derby: Ran around in circles slamming into strangers. Derby made that acceptable.
Got into derby when: She started skating in a Jersey League, but needed to make a break for the Left Coast.
Position: Mostly pivot, but loves playing in the back.
Favorite part of derby: "Hearing girls scream out in frustration because they're trapped behind my ass is one of the most satisfying feelings I've ever had."

 

MADAME BUMPS-A-LOT
Player profile:
Fav drink: Cadillac margarita
Before derby: Life wasn't too exciting. Paddled on a world-class dragonboat team and snowboarded a lot.
Interests: Other than skating: snowboarding, reading, working out, and plain-old whatever puts a smile on my face.
How she got into derby: As a child, skates were my feet. I found RCR and I was wowed all over again.
Favorite part of derby: "The women; we're all so different, but we all share the same love for this sport."
Favorite part of skating: being able to hit but not go to jail for assualt. "And I enjoy pushing myself physically to the point of stress relief."


 

MERCYFUL KATE
"I was born on the cemetery
Under the sign of the moon
Raised from my grave by the dead
I was made a mercenary
In the legions of Hell
Now I'm the Queen of Pain
I'm insane" -Mercyful Kate
Profile:
Favorite drink: the blood of a newborn
Interests: human sacrifices, torturing the souls of the damned, sounding the demon bell, drawing circles after midnight
Before derby: was the Princess of Hell
Got into derby: to unleash wrath on the living and do the bidding of the Dark Lord.
Favorite part of derby: skating, you mongrel.
Position: Pivot, so as to lead others straight into The Gates of Hell.

 

MESS-O-POTAMIA
CO-CAPTAIN
Player profile:
Role: Defender. Sturdy and resilient, she can assume bestial or treelike forms to destroy her foes. Depending on her choice of class features and powers, she leans toward either controller or striker as a secondary role.
Power Source:
Primal. A primal champion, a guardian of the natural world and custodian of all living things.
Key abilities:
Strength, Constitution, Wisdom
Armor proficiencies: cloth, leather, hide, light shield, heavy shield

Weapon proficiencies:
Simple melee, military melee, simple ranged
Bonus to defense: +1 Fortitude, +1 Will
Hit points at 1st level:
17 + Constitution score
Hit points per level gained:
7
Healing surges per day:
9 + Constitution modifier
Trained skills: Athletics, Dungeoneering, Endurance, Healing, Intimidation, Nature, Perception.

Class features:
Font of Life, Guardian Might, Nature’s Wrath

 

MINSTREL PSYCHO
"You can take the girl out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the girl."
Player profile:
Favorite drink: coffee
Interests: writing, playing music, Latino men and Keanu Reeves
Before derby: Sunday school teacher
Why derby?: Career as a paid assassin became difficult with the economy the way it is.
Position: Missionary

 

SEDUSA DESTROY
Player profile:
Before derby:
Sedusa learned the art of seduction at a very young age watching her burlesque-fatale Grandmother swindle men out of their money and their minds.  With the subtle power of seduction, no one was safe. Once Sedusa perfected her seduction tactics, the hunger to destroy took over.  First a swordstress, then an assassin, Sedusa found her way to the brutal art of derby and has been seducing fans and destroying opponents ever since.
Favorite drink: Tequila & tonic with a slice of blood orange OR Sin and Tonic
Chops: Varsity Fencer at Penn State
Studied Shakespeare in Stratford upon Avon
Lived in Greece as a lil' Sedusa
Sk8 number: 36-24-36
Likes: swords, corsets, absinthe, poets, steel guitars, afternoon debauchery, avocados, victims
Favorite part of derby: The look on a girls face when you sneak-attack and knock her off her skates... oh, and the camaraderie of course.... being able to get a drink with a bunch of girls you've been fiercely knocking around with

 

SULLY SKULLKICKER
Form of the Fearsome Ram, she becomes mightier and faster in attack mode, manifesting the horns and hooves of a ram. Her attacks push her foes with great force, and she can make a successive attack to push a foe and knock it prone. It’s kind of like the Barbarian’s Rage daily powers with a bit of the Druid’s wild shape feature thrown in for good measure. There’s probably going to be something new we haven't seen yet that’s just plain nuts here.
Player Profile:
Daily skills: Polymorph, Primal
Minor action: Personal
Effect: Assume the guardian form of the fearsome ram until the end of the encounter. While she is in this form, she gains a +2 power bonus for speed and a +2 bonus to charge attack rolls. In addition, when she hits a target with an at-will attack, she pushes the target ahead or aside. If the attack already pushed the target, the distance of the push increases. She then makes the following weapon attack in this form.
Standard action: Melee weapon
Attack method: Fortitude
Hit strenth at level 1: 2 + Strength modifier (typically knocking prone).

 

 

 

THICK LIZZY
Player profile:
Favorite drink: Whatever's in the still.
Interests: Late-model American trucks, dirt roads, riding shotgun, skinny-dipping and playing Thin Lizzy hits on her musical saw.
Before derby: "I always thought my big booty was in the way...well, I was right."
Got into derby because: She was sick of being a nice girl. Turns out she could skate too. A match made in hell.
Favorite position: She'll fill 'em all, but likes holding the line. Of course, she likes watching the opposing jammer take the long and hard way to the front of the pack.

 

WHITE FLIGHT
"Leaving track marks on the backs of downed skaters worldwide makes my heart soar."
Player profile:
F
avorite drink: Sex in the face, of course.
Before derby: roamed the streets as a mere mortal
Got into derby because: "Ground-and-pound" isn't nearly as satisfying without skates. "The blacker the bruise the happier I am."
Favorite position: more ass-to-vag, please!

 

WRECK DECKARD
After leaving a long and successful career of retiring replicants in Gotham City, Wreck Deckard moved west looking for a chance to begin again and found herself in Portland. Among the many unsavory characters she encountered in the back rooms and strip clubs of Stumptown, Wreck discovered a clandestine gang of gamblers and derby girls. These women live by a credo - to stick together at all odds - and to defeat all who challenge The High Rollers.
Player Profile:
Height: 5'6"
Position: Jammer 3/4
Favorite move: when they don't see you coming
Lap time: 25 in two minutes
Likes: noodles
Hobbies: piano, you banjo-picking hippies.
Sign: neon
Philosophy: "It's too bad she won't live, but then again, who does? "

 



HewmJames